The Health Anti-Guru

Becoming a Phoenix

The story of self harm to self love.

Being the ultimate party girl wreaked havoc on my body and soul. Alcohol, late nights, lust for carnal physical expression, anti-depression pills, anti-anxiety pills paired with a horrible diet of fast food and take-out while living in a poisonous intimate domestic relationship contributed to self-loathing, self-denial, thoughts of suicide, and ultimately self-harm. Masking my pain with a materialistic lifestyle made the dark hole my soul was in even deeper. It took me years before I actively realized that it was I who was 100% responsible for the dark cloud dimming my true essence.

My ultimate problem:
I was too weak to admit to myself that I alone allowed this misery to possess and control me.

After a period of soul evaluation and licking my wounds, I was ready to start my road construction. Through self-reflection, outward observation, and acquiring education, I created an achievable task-driven road map to becoming who I felt I was capable of being.
Happy. Healthy. Toxin-Free.

What was my breaking point?

I was tired of the dark clouds constantly over me.

With that being said, I didn’t like the "blah" almost surreal perception of my world around me while I was on doctor-prescribed mood stabilizers. The doctor prescribed "mood meds" were simply a band-aid covering up a septic wound I needed to heal within myself by actively changing self-destructive habits. Exchanging street drugs for pharmaceutical drugs is NOT the correct solution. "Mood meds" are a biohacking short cut and not the true path if one honestly desires healing self-abusive behavior and anxiety. It became my obsession to extensively research holistic methods and remedies to naturally stimulate more positive brain chemicals (Serotonin) as the correct solution. With this knowledge and implementation into my lifestyle, I successfully and holistically moved past my depression and anxiety-causing neurotransmitters developed by extensive drug use and a long term abusive relationship without prescribed medications.

After getting a back bone, I made the life-changing decision to leave the destructive intimate relationship I was drowning in for several years. For too long, I failed to admit that it was I who allowed myself to be in the vicious situation and that it was I who was 100% responsible for doing what I needed to do to be who I felt I could be. To come to the clarity that YOU are solely responsible for your inner happiness is the most challenging first step to self-worth. To create a life independent of another person or material distractions as a source for happiness is the road one must carefully pave for themselves.

Was my Phoenix Journey easy?

Of course not! It is a never-ending journey.

Healing is messy and is not linear. Self-healing is a slow, painful process of self-reflection and the realization that you also need to change your circle of people around you. Once I realized the old saying "you are a reflection of who you keep" IS true, and the only way I could open the door to adventures into a healthy lifestyle, it was required I attract others who were positive and supportive. By accepting this truth, I allowed myself the opportunity to kick off the crab people. Transforming bad habits and creating a positive routine requires extensive and diligent work. It doesn’t happen with a click of a finger.

In the end, I am entirely grateful and recognize I was blessed with a supportive family and partner (now husband) who gave me strength while I was pressing through all the ugly parts of detoxing from drug use and healing my broken soul. While detoxing, it registered in my foggy brain that I could become what I deemed a beautiful soul, even with all my broken pieces and ugly truths. Just like the Kintsugi, I too am art and I too have value. We are all a work of art in the making, and by embracing our flaws we can start putting ourselves back together. Accepting my missteps, I developed my immense gratitude for my Phoenix journey. Choosing to face my demons and conquer my fears paved the way for my first child. Motherhood has been my greatest blessing and overwhelming joy. Having created the opportunity to gain the knowledge of how to effectively provide a toxic-free home and upbringing for my children is the most awesome gift I have given myself by becoming a Phoenix. While knee deep in the Vegas / LA party girl model lifestyle, I couldn't fathom farm life being my ideal lifestyle. The truth is, had NO idea who I really was or what made my soul smile until I actively acknowledged there was no other choice but to set fire to my old skin and rise from the ashes a new, more empowered, me.

How has my life changed?

Since starting my Phoenix journey, it has become my life's passion to help others on their journey to a toxin-free life. It is my passion to provide the easily accessible tools necessary for everybody to become the Phoenix they KNOW they can be. I have learned from firsthand experience that the daunting journey of shedding one's past and rebuilding is grueling without a solid supportive team on your side. At the start of my Phoenix journey, I could not feel any connection toward many holistic, personal growth, or health gurus. Their persona or life story failed to connect with mine. I don't discredit Health Guru information or methods. Nonetheless, the Jay Kordich / Tony Robbins energy was not for me. This developed my health anti-guru approach to holistic health education and health coaching.

Kind Heart Lifestyle offers information and support from the desk of a Health Anti-Guru for those who desire becoming a Phoenix too. With bold honesty, integrity, and sometimes a little hay in my hair - it is my mission to actively provide fodder for the flame and quality support for all those who want to shine their brightest. Regardless of any individual's background, beliefs, or life experience - Kind Heart Lifestyle is a refuge for those who need a little tenderness and a positive direction toward a toxin-free lifestyle with down-to earth, cost-effective, holistic solutions. It is my greatest hope that my darkest days and rebirth adventure can serve as a lesson and personal journey not wasted for others.

I’m Fatima, a Certified Holistic Life and Health Coach, an Environmental Toxins Specialist and a Phoenix.